Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
