WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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