I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Pooping to opera.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
