he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
