i don't like sucking hair
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
