This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
