so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
