I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
