brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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