I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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