I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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