omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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