Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
