thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i came on her dog
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
