the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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