My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
