Who wears a wallet chain?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
