so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
