btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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