I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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