I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
