took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
