Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
