My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
