Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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