I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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