There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
