I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
