Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
