At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
