Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
