Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
