dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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