I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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