my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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