please come you make the beer taste better
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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