I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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