I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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