oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
