he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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