I want to make a zoo with you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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