she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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