No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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