He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At least life still wants to fuck me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
