So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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