It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
