I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
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the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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