They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
