I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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