It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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