Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
