I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
