my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
should my penis look like a turkey
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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