This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
