She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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