I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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