My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
