just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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