Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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