My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
