she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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