Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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