Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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