"it" just moved
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dignity is for republicans.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
