If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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