i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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