why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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