Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
